The Door

As I meditated in The LORD’s presence; I found myself on a path before a particular Door.

The pathway to the Door wasn’t elaborate; it looked plain, with the regular hardware and door lock.

I noticed that it looked untended and wasn’t inviting. I could tell the Door hadn’t been opened in a long time.

As I stood before the Door, there was no window or bell, but I knew something was very important behind that Door.

It was very important for me to stand and knock. I stood and looked around me patiently, realizing that no one wanted to answer that door.

However, The LORD would not let me leave, and I continued to knock and wait.

I was very invested in this Door, because I began to hear sounds inside, faintly angry, hostile, proud, and I could hear many sounds of curses and what sounded like bottles breaking against the Door.

I remained at that Door, and I got down on my hands and knees and I wept and wailed over this Door, for God to show Mercy, Grace, and Deliverance!

Then I heard a battle, with the ruckus of sounds of deliverance that were cracking and breaking a seal that was revealed all around the Door!

It sounded like something thrown against hard rock, and broken.

Then I heard sounds of the occult coming through the cracks, as they screeched like buzzards dipped in fire! I continued to labor and travail, as they were commanded to leave!

Suddenly the Door broke in two!

I stood up praying in The Holy Spirit and I spoke to the one who was at the heart of this Door.

Behind the Door

Behind the Door was Pride that cursed me — with the forked tongue darting — and other sounds of rebellion, stubbornness, self-hatred, guilt, condemnation, and they were keeping a hold of the Door.

I knew that whoever was behind that Door, was tormented with strong fear and was deeply entrenched with depression, despair, hopelessness, and the rejection.

The sound of chains and shackles were heard, as I heard the faintest of whimpers… Then suddenly, I heard the sound of cries, because it was like a wave of nausea which hit me in the gut — and fear too — as they tried to make me leave the Door!

I knew that it wasn’t over for this precious soul.

The LORD within, had shown me this affliction had been there a very long time, and no one could reach the heart of this Child.

Many had come in and out, but no one would stay, because of the roots and the result was in life, many were still alone, and even The Church had failed this precious heart.

The LORD himself had a time arranged — and the set time has come.

The Set Time

The LORD touched the heart that was totally broken, like a beautiful crystal vase dashed against the floor, that had no hope to ever have The LORD.

For when we are beyond broken and shattered, no one can help us.

The LORD again said, “You have been alone, but I AM all the Light you need….” and He touched the tears, and they dripped into His faithfulness. For never has one tear against the cheek gone unnoticed.

The heart was shattered yes, and no one could possibly put the heart back together again.

Now The LORD wants you to know that He has seen it all!

He carefully gathers the broken, shattered pieces that were once a heart, and in one breath He gives you a new heart for He puts it back together again, every scar, every pain, and triumphs over it all in a new beginning!

For even the nail-scarred hand was there to see that our Conqueror, triumphs over the grave!

This post is for you.

The Hiding Place

God has seen The Hiding Place in your soul where you have given up, but He never gives up and He knows just where you are!

On your trek, there are more places in time by design, to bring deliverance…

The LORD wants you to forgive yourself and even though you cursed your own soul. All it takes is one word… “Forgive!”

Ask The LORD to forgive — and give you strength within!

Forgive all the regrets and sorrows, and now you realize that God loves you and will never let you go!

I am standing right there beside you and dedicated to all those who have heard this precious soul. Love yourselves as I love you!

Reach Out

Now, as we continue below this is meant for those who reach out to those who identify with the hidden soul, whether they work with or know.

There are very many people — like the precious soul — who need understanding and kindness, to be able to minister to those who have tormenting private struggles, that have been hidden away from people — especially the Saints of God.

There are many who are wounded and afflicted within The Church, and those outside the Church. These people have a voice — and God has heard them!

No One Knows What to Do With You!

Because of being misunderstood, you have hidden yourself at home, in Church, school, you have hidden your own heart and wounds out of pride, so that no one could see the awful depression and bondage you suffer with.

You hide behind a Door — you hide in bed asleep, hoping to remain there forever.

You hide behind a closet, fueling bitterness and unforgiveness like a deep taproot of pride and bitterness, that must be rooted out of you — because out of rejection and self-pity, comes a covering of pride.

Your local Church has failed you. You hide at your job; you hide behind a pretend marriage; you pretend at your job — and let’s go deeper still!

You hide behind drugs, alcohol and hate the day. You are found in the community where you live and found in family splits too.

Deal with Every Saint!

God is causing me now to cross borders and deal with every Saint who is stuck behind The Door.

I was not going to post, this due to the possible responses of negativity. So again, I cannot apologize for how this resonates with you — or not.

The world is at hand, and things are at hand, and we don’t have the time to play pat-a-cake with anyone. There is no harm intended.

I have learned and come to realize that I get into trouble for disobedience, as I can’t make anyone accept or want, anything I offer.

So here it is, and my hope is that someone who is suffering greatly, hidden at home, in Church, in the community — wherever you are — online or in prison, God is everywhere!

All you’ve got to do is seek HIM, and He will be found.

New Wine and Oil

Sometimes in God it’s a lonely journey to walk His Holy Spirit. When God is working in a very deep way, actions learned will not only be for that person, but for others who will benefit in knowing them, and will be served The New Wine and The Oil of their history and victories!

Some people are so wounded, that they will bait-and-switch conversations to pull the conversation away from anything that they battle, and want to hide.

None of us like hurts and wounds, and the wounded come out from battles of all kinds.

In Hurts and Wounds

During the trauma of my first marriage, I realized suddenly and quickly, how deep things can go much deeper still.

The LORD is wanting to heal so many people who are suffering in their Churches, and in their everyday lives and in all relationships.

Although I was not a Vietnam Veteran, I was married to one in 1976. I remember how the Veterans of the Vietnam era were treated, and it was horrible how our nation turned their backs on them. But that has changed!

However, my first understanding of the Vietnam War appeared to me one week after we married, when he got mad at me for losing a shoe.

He began beating me and broke out a tooth, and my face was a disaster.

After that, I saw he was nice to me again like nothing happened, but I had black eyes and bruises that lasted a week, and if people asked me, I told them it was from a car wreck.

I thought to myself, “What was it I did to cause this?”

Vietnam Legacy

My Vietnam events began that day we wed, as I got to see the reality of the Vietnam Veteran firsthand.

He often left me alone and went to find his friends. I never knew how he would be when he came back.

One time he came in with red eyes and was ready to beat me again. I was terrified at times, but I loved him, and I tried to make a good wife.

One instance, was when I was five months pregnant and was getting supper prepared. We both went out to get the fish, and he came in and his voice changed, and told me to make him a steak.

I told him no, and he grabbed me by the hair and dragged me into the bedroom and found the vacuum cleaner and took the cord and he beat me so bad I didn’t know if I would live.

I couldn’t get up and lay on the floor like a heap. Then he took off and left me there and was gone for three days.

I managed to crawl to the bathroom and stood up, and swish, like it was a bucket of blood. It went everywhere. The walls, floors, and ceiling, and I was so hurt.

I laid in the bathtub, and I watched my blood going and then the sac of the child, and I felt so light headed. I knew I would die if I didn’t for call.

I placed a towel between my legs and asked my neighbor in the next apartment to please call the Rescue Squad.

My Vietnam Veteran husband killed our baby and nearly killed me. I was given a lot of blood, but my Vietnam husband was nowhere to be found!

The Violence of Vietnam

That is only one event of the violence — but that man, my husband, a Veteran of Vietnam — awarded multiple Purple Heart recipients — had that war still in him.

I lived in Vietnam with my husband, and the violence of Vietnam, was connected to me. He was my husband, but his violence kept getting worse.

I am just briefly saying some of what he did to me, as he was a violent man and very strong.

At the apartment, he next would go off and describe what was happening, telling a woman to get out of his way. She kept trying to protect herself, and he hit her on the head and she died.

She had shrapnel in her head — and he laughed about it.

He spoke about the violence like he was right there then!

I would listen to him, and get real still, to watch how his voice would change, and his eyes turn red, and he would grab. I had never ever hit anyone at that point in my life.

Now I know that I experienced trauma and PTSD, however, there was no listing of MST or PTSD and anxiety/ panic attacks or depression in the 70s.

I went into The Military, and at the times I saw him, the violence became worse.

I was trying to get housing, and at my rank we had to wait, so he remained at our home.

In The Military, there was never any mention of trauma, but they said If you showed emotion, they would say, “Buck it up and move on!”

I never understood why I kept having this happen with trauma, but in the 1970s, no one ever said anything about domestic violence or PTSD. But this I can say — I know it is real!

Falling Through Cracks

On our visits while waiting on housing it was okay, and my hope was that he could get the help he needed. Now they know better — because I fell through every crack imaginable, so many of them.

After I got things settled, he waited and we decided we would move our things to my next Duty Station.

I still loved him, and was planning to move him to my first Duty Station and find a home which I could afford with my low rank — but that was a long wait.

We would see each other only a few times, when I had gone home during my leave. Many other events took place and the trauma and violence got worse while I was in service.

All I can say today, is that I know people were praying, and The LORD had me leave at the right time.

Get Help!

After going home to see him, we decided to move right away, but I told him, only if he gets help.

I had not been back a month at my duty station when the Red Cross called and my first Sergeant came to my door and said your husband has been murdered and told me, “Call your parents.” He had told me he would seek help when he came to my first Duty Station.

I had not been back for about a month when he was killed, murdered, as he got into a fight the night before with a friend of his. That is another part of the story that will come later.

After my Vietnam husband’s death, I thought I would move on, but the trauma did not stop in my mind, or in some of my actions.

I was a broken soul from his death, the death of our child — and PTSD did not exist back then.

Continuing Trauma

“Now why”” I asked myself, “Why do I still suffer with trauma when he died? I thought it was over!”

But sadly the pattern continued, and I did not know what was wrong with me!

Why was I crying and couldn’t stop — being unable to deal with it all?

In 1980 things continued to escalate while in the Services, because I did not understand how past abuse was still affecting me.

You would think this is done, he died, right? NOT so. It got worse during my time in Service, and his abuse caused flashbacks, nightmares, nervousness, black outs. It did not stop!

Always turning on lights and checking doors, it was driving me crazy! Domestic Violence and PTSD — as it is called now.

Domestic Violence and PTSD

Yes, Domestic Violence and PTSD followed me to my new Duty Station overseas, as I thought, surely it will go away?

I did not know what to do, so I self-medicated with alcohol and drank all day — even at work — till I passed out. It wrecked me and I have never been the same since.

Getting Serious Help

Now it was time to get some serious help and I apologize if any of this offends you, but I know one day my message will help others.

Many people hide — especially due to embarrassment — because they don’t want people to see who they are in different ways.

But God sees it all and knows why.

I stepped out emotionally, because The LORD wanted me too. I was scared about facing my fears when it had to do with my mental capacity.

Even Ministers couldn’t help me, as I tried to help them understand, but they could not.

For sure, there is so much more territory to win — for instance in the brain — and I believe one day we will find shocking new cures that will heal our brains!

Can you remember the life (ministry) of Joseph? He is a great study about being your best in any situation.

Band-Aids

We have learned who we are by things we walk through, with the worst choices being more Band-Aids on our soul all the time, as we react to many things.

To God, everything is open before Him. So, if no one sees or knows you well, what a person does in secret, is just as important to God than the one who is in the pulpit.

We all carry mistakes we have made, and it is hard when someone whom we deeply care for, changes before us and the steps make us lose confidence in other men or women — and especially ourselves and The Church.

In This Season

This is a season to call out to God and get before His face!

People are limited, and many of us want that stimulation we receive from another person, friend, or anyone whom we try to measure ourselves against.

Much impairment goes through life, even in a person in their 60’s, 70’s and beyond.

Insecurity is very detrimental to the believer in Christ. The root usually is steeped deep in fear — and we terribly need validation, because if we walk on without repentance, the consequences can be really damaging to many.

We must die daily and pick up our own cross and follow The LORD!

Being Watched!

How many of us would have different behavior if people knew we were watching?

Or, how would our response be, if someone who had authority over us, would do the backstroking, if someone of authority you knew, watched your video and they heard your voice, which others were using to incriminate you.

But in following the Master, Jesus stood still and didn’t say a word. He is our only healer.

I am so sad, and no one knows the tears of testing I have had when you deal with people of authority — or even friends — who thought they had much to offer, when they couldn’t even scratch the surface!

They Don’t Know You

No one may know you well, because you are a very private person.

However, my goal in life is to stop building sandcastle walls to surround my heart and soul.

But God sees it all! There is no shame, guilt or condemnation being hung out to dry on our clothesline — only drawers on the wire!

This is a small portion of what has happened.

Therapy

At the time, I am in therapy and will be while The LORD continues.

I do know this issue covers trauma and all mental disorders that were taboo for a long time, especially in The Church — and are embarrassing to families.

I really need your prayers, because right now I am learning “Coping Skills” to prepare me for some intense PTSD therapy, so I can learn to receive the good and throw out the rest.

Begging God

I begged God for years ago to heal me, and He said that I was going to use it all to help all people in The Church who were hiding because of trauma, shame, guilt — you name it — and to reach out to the community where it’s that dirty secret in families.

Would you pray that the ground will be ready for what is coming?

This was but a summary of my experiences. Thank you for taking your time to read and really listen to my heart and the heart of The LORD.

Pray please for me and all those who need rescuing, especially in The Church.

 

Much Love Always,
In HIS Grace and Mercy,
~ Sherry Edwards Mackey

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Sherry Edwards Mackey
Please Note: Publications and or prophecy taken from this may be used to promote the gospel of Jesus Christ. The articles taken must be used according to it’s entirety with credits. Thank you kindly!

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