“Years ago I was disappointed with something that had happened in my life.

A pastor took the time to explain to me about expectation vs expectancy. I had an expectation that something would happen a certain way in an event, and when it didn’t, I was disappointed. I heard him and immediately got an understanding of what he meant.

Decades later, The LORD brought that up to me again. He is in such a time of refining and has been dealing with me where trust is concerned.

I am fully on board with going forward with Him into the new, but I would be a liar if I didn’t say there were some concerns about what it would be.

He showed me that there were some areas where I didn’t fully trust Him. Clearly He is fully trustworthy, but life situations with the enemy’s help can chip away at that.

The fruit is that we begin to judge The LORD without realizing it.

In my own life I had an expectation that I would marry and have children. My siblings had; the vast majority of my friends had. I never did.

I had assumed it’s what would happen for me, and when it didn’t happen, somewhere behind the scenes, I began to judge Him.

I didn’t realize it until one Sunday night at ministry when a pastor said loudly three times, “The LORD forgives you for judging Him!”

After the first time, I said, “I don’t think I am judging Him,” but by the third time I was in tears, realizing that was true. I repented with all my heart.

But this morning He is bringing up trust. What I hadn’t dealt with that night was mistrust that had developed through my disappointments along the way in life.

When we ourselves expect something from Him, even though He never promised it to us, and it doesn’t happen, we can see Him as the problem. The enemy loves to fan those flames.

So this morning I repented. I told Him I trusted Him for whatever was ahead for me. Rather than having my own expectations, whether they be good or bad ones, I would fully live in expectancy for He will do next, for what He will have for me because He is a good God, a God who loves me dearly and perfectly, and who accepts me fully.

And He is a God that made me for His purposes, not mine… but He blesses me in the process.

He is well able to handle every emotion, every circumstance, and even every trial that lies ahead in the journey He has for me.

I decided to write this up because I doubt I am the only one who has struggled with this. Just as I didn’t realize it, you may not realize it or have seen it. As we go forth into the next phase, ask Him if you have allowed your own unmet expectations to cause you to hesitate, to doubt Him in any way. We have exciting times ahead, and He wants us ready.”