There are saved women who are married to men who are yet in sin, but are good providers, treat their wives with respect, and are honorable in their homes.

Please be a wise woman and build your house according to the pattern ABBA has designed marriage.

Too many women get saved, then listen to unwise counsel when it comes to dealing with their husbands.

Knowing how to be that godly woman who can win her husband is a important factor.

From dealing with women who damaged their homes and lost their husbands because of their behavior, let me point out a few things that are done wrong, when it comes to dealing with a unsaved spouse:

1. Do not be a judge over your husband.
   Women, you can’t condemn your husband to hell, calling him a heathen and sinner 24/7, and expect to win him over.
2. Do not compare your husband constantly to male leaders in your church.
   No man wants to hear you bragging on another man all the time.
3. Stop telling him what your Pastor says that should be going on in your house.
   No man will allow another man to run his house.
   You keep saying what Pastor say he needs to be doing, and you are going to cause the Pastor to get a visit Pastor not going to like.
4. Wives, if your husband wants to take you on a date during one of the nights of church, you can go.
   Really, you can miss church to spend some time with your husband.
   You not going to hell or lose your soul because of it.
   You’re trying to win your husband, not make him turn against ABBA.
5. Wives, intimate time is important.
   Take time to sit, talk, share and be romantic with your husband.
   You will be surprised as to how men change when they are made to feel important to you.
6. Stop trying to always preach, pray and prophesy to him, and just be a wife to him.
   Put the prayer shawl up, the anointed oil down. Praying all night, every night, your husband won’t understand all that you’re trying to discuss in the household.
7. Do not sneak large amounts of money for giving to your Pastor, especially if the Pastor is single.
   A man is funny about his wife giving money that he has worked for, to another man and women.
   Even if you work, be careful, because he will want to know why you are working taking care of another man.
   And now they are even questioning you taking care of a woman.
8. Be careful of any leader who tries to keep you away from your household.
   Your Pastor should not be asking you to disobey your husband, or keep you away from your household seven days a week.
   If your leader is not promoting family and marriage, then you need to pray.
   Sometimes these leaders are selfish or they want you for themselves.
9. Wives, the anointing does not stop you from cooking, cleaning and washing.
   Getting saved does not exempt you from taking care of your household or husband.
   For some crazy reason, once women get saved, they think they don’t have to do anything anymore for their husband, because he is a sinner.
   You can’t win him over that way!
10. Wives, you yet need to be attractive to your husband.
    You can take off that sanctified head rag, that prehistoric gown, that tired worn out house dress, like you are rebuking your husband from desiring you.
    Oh how you dress up to go to church for others to see, but don’t look good for your husband.
11. Wives, don’t make your husband seem inadequate, now that you’re saved.
    Get rid of the self-righteous attitudes toward him, making it seem like you are better than him.
    Remember, you were in sin also, until you were born again.
12. Use wisdom when witnessing to your husband.
    Timing and approach attitude and character needs to be godly.
    Tell ABBA to give you the way and words to win your husband.

Now there are women that get saved but have husbands that are unfaithful unkind and dealing with major issues you have to have great wisdom dealing with these kind of men once you become born again.

1. If he is a abuser, know that you becoming a child of YAH may make his anger greater because of the peace you now have, and the strength you gain, through your relationship with YAH.
   He may verbally attack you more, or physically. In those cases that are life threatening I do recommend safety.
   I’ve seen women get killed, by not protecting themselves.
   I don’t care what nobody says, ABBA is not telling you to stay in a situation where you are getting physically beaten day and night, threatened with guns and knives and putting your children and yourselves in harms way.
   In those situations, you need to remove yourselves until the abuser gets help and deliverance.
2. Pray and cover yourself spiritually if you have a cheating spouse.
   Also take precaution, naturally if they are a cheater, to reduce the chances of you contacting any STD.
   I know to many women who have contacted a disease because they didn’t use wisdom.
   Have a ADULT conversation with your husband about your concerns.
3. If they are on drugs or alcohol, you know there will be financial issues, because of their addictions.
   Use wisdom with the finances.
   Now there are functional addicts. They will hold a job just to make their drug money.
   I have also seen men who had addictions yet who would give the wives the bill money for the month, but waste the rest on their habits.
   You won’t have extra savings, so you won’t get ahead, but you will perhaps get your bills paid!

These are just a few observations of some things I have seen take place dealt with by helping others and experienced myself.

I pray these little words of advice help. Whenever you’re having marital issues seek advice from your leader if they are capable of helping you or somebody of wisdom that is not bias in the situations.

You will be surprise at the people that ask for help but get upset when you point out that the are the cause of the problem in the marriage and not their unsaved spouse.

Love you and let’s end this month right!

~ Apostle Barbara R. Thomas

Apostle Barbara R. Thomas is founder of I Come to Heal Ministries, A Woman’s touch Ministry, The Next Dimension Global Outreach Ministries and Spoken Word School of Ministry and is on a mission, traveling the world, proclaiming the Gospel, for souls to be won to the Kingdom of God. She has life mandate to help bring others to their divine purpose.

Back to Top